~Another lesson…for my daughter~

Dearest daughter,

It seems as if only yesterday you entered this world. I remember holding you for the first time. You, my little one, were so tiny and fragile. You held my finger with your little hand and smiled up at me. The memory of that moment is, for all time to come, etched on my heart.

With your birth, I learned of new relationships and the meanings they hold. First I was your aunt. Then, when your mother would be away I would replace her. And now that you are growing up, I am your friend.

Dear one, there are things that I want to share with you today – my experiences and thoughts. Read them whenever you feel low and I am sure that you will be able to find new hope through them.

To begin with, I want you to be whatever your heart wishes you to be. Don’t imitate anyone else; remain true to your own self. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not to satisfy other people’s expectations. The world forces us to don masks. Sadly, overtime we begin mistaking these artificial masks for the faces we had hidden in the past. Don’t let this happen to you!

Always remember that no one owes you anything. If someone loves you, it is because there is something special in you that touched their hearts and brought them immense joy. As you grow older still, persistently try to find in you that special something and through recognizing and appreciating it, allow it to grow so that more love and friendship come your way.

The world is a beautiful place but often a few things can make it seem harsh. God’s temple is made of love. It is man’s temple that is built of stones. Open your heart to goodness. No matter what happens, don’t let negative people or thoughts take hold of you. The choice between being an optimist or a pessimist will remain right there in front of you. Choose one, choose wisely!

Don’t let the child in you die. As long as you nurture this child within you, you will find happiness and joy in life.

There is a purpose in everything and everyone that comes into your life. Whatever experiences fall your way, strive to find the purpose behind them. Find the space in your heart and mind to learn a new lesson from every purpose. If you find yourself close to failing at what you started out to do, don’t hesitate to ask for help around you. One who realizes that he is ignorant is ignorant no more!

My dearest child, I read somewhere that every man’s life is a fairy tale written by God’s fingers. There will be times in your life when you will think this is not true; you will feel that your life is too hard to be a fairy tale. At that moment, I want you to remember that fairy tales contain wonder and beauty but also a few bad things. Each one contains a jinn, a witch, a cruel queen or king, a monster, a giant, some sort of unpleasantness. The trick is to conquer this evil slowly. But before conquering those external forces, conquer the jinns and monsters hiding in your own heart. Get a grip on the devil inside!

Be bold, be brave and believe in the power of your dreams – the dreams that shine in your lovely eyes like stars will illuminate your way.

It is true that with every passing day, I will grow older and weaker. A day may come when I will become forgetful. But even then, you with your bright smile, will light up my heart.

I love you, dear daughter!

Your Alo.

Original blog found here.

~Grandmother…special love~

My Dear Lily,

There will be many people in your life who love you and will always love you.  You are surrounded by family, the people chosen by God to protect you, love you and care for you, for as long as they live.  Remember that family is not only created by blood, but also by unconditional love and respect.

You may think that it will only be your parents who will love you unconditionally.  Don’t forget your grandparents; you will share a special bond with them forever. This bond may sometime transcend the bond between parent and child. That connection between grandparent and child is special, because grandparents will always act on the benefit of their grandchild, even if it means foregoing the approval of the parent.

Lily, I grew up with my grandmother, until the age of eight. There are many reasons why I spent my formidable childhood years with my grandmother, and not with my parents or siblings, but that’s not something to dwell on. I want to write about the woman who raised me, as her own daughter.

My grandmother became a widow at the age of 18 (or thereabouts), with four young children and another on the way. With no real prospects for a job, she was offered to become a nanny/maid for a wealthy family in the city. The family had one daughter, but both parents worked and needed help with looking after their daughter and with the daily housework. This meant leaving her young children behind with her mother.  My great grandmother was a strict, but fair woman, and she too looked after her grandchildren while their mother worked. See Lily, you come from a long line of strong women who are survivors, and were all ahead of their time. Learn from them and embrace that part of you.

Moving in with the family, my grandmother became the mother figure in the child’s life and she cared for that child like her own; sometimes treating her better than her own children, whom she visited on holidays and some weekends. When all her children had grown up and had children of their own, my mother decided to have me live with my grandmother with the wealthy family. It may seem like an odd arrangement looking back, but my childhood was a happy one because of this.

My grandmother became my mother, and my father, the person who taught me right from wrong, who helped me with my homework, who fed me and clothed me, the person who showed me what love is. My grandmother, despite her busy duties in running a household, always had time for me. Every day, she would wake up at 6.00 am in the morning, get breakfast ready for the family and have their clothes ironed and ready for work. After all that, she would wake me up, organise my morning ritual that consisted of having a bath, then breakfast, (which always consisted of oatmeal and milo), have my lunch ready and clothed, all ready for school by 8.30am. Everyday, without fail (I don’t ever remember my grandmother being sick) she would take me to school, carrying my heavy bag and wait until I was inside my classroom. Once school had finished, like clockwork and always on time, my grandmother would pick me, sometimes stopping for a treat.

I was in awe of my grandmother then, and still to this day.  I am amazed at who she is and what she had accomplished, although she would think they were not worth bragging about. I can write a million and one things about how influential my grandmother has been in my life, how she has shaped my being and how she continues to do so every day. The one thing I would forever remember about my grandmother, is love.

My grandmother was the first person who taught me what it means to love, she did that by showing her love everyday, and not necessary by words. She showed it to her children, her grand children, her extended family, her friends and even to strangers. If she could give you the sun and moon, just so you can be happy, she would. That is what made that special bond between her and her grandchildren. No request was ever too small for her.

Lily, my grandmother knew who I am before I knew who I am. She knew what I was capable of, before I knew and even with my own doubts hovering my head. She loved me even though I wasn’t always the good girl she wanted and deserved. She cared for me when I was sick, even though she was tired from work. She pushed me to be better, but to also enjoy my childhood.

As years went and as I grew older, I didn’t keep in touch with her often. This was made difficult, because I lived in a different country and continent from her. As she got older and became sick, it became much more difficult to communicate with her, but I knew that love will always be there; and that is why sometimes I feel guilty for not being there as much as she was for me. But, never for a minute did I ever doubt her love for me and her wanting the best for me.

Writing and preparing the eulogy for her funeral was one of the most challenging writing tasks I have ever had to do. Because I knew that whatever I prepared I could never give justice to the life of this wonderful, selfless human being.  But my dear Lily, I mustered the courage to read it, with the hopes that it made her smile above.

Lily my love, love those people who matter and spend time with them while you have the chance. Distance should not matter, language should not either. You will then look back at the memories fondly, and not feel guilty that you could have done more.

I hope one day that i will experience that special connection with my grandchild, your child and be a great grandmother, as my grandmother was to me.

With all my love,

Mummy x

~Precious…women~

TO THE PRECIOUS WOMEN:

Dear ones, did you know that you are loved?

You are loved and you are so worth it!

Did you know that your hearts are sooo big?

So big that your longings are eternal! Yes, your heart was made for Someone deeper than the oceans, higher than the stars above and bigger than a million galaxies combined! Because your hearts were made for the One who made them all!

Did you know that He’s crazy about you?

He created someone like you when He already has everything. He made you fearfully (carefully and meticulously) and wonderfully (with excellent chemistry, engineering and architecture) that even the hairs of your heads are numbered! He delicately and intimately designed your DNA and you are uniquely fashioned by His hands!

So don’t be surprised if your heart-cries are so deep. Women, you are so beautiful and you are so worth it!

Someone died a terrible death on the cross for you just to show you that He loves you! A million years will pass but His love never will. Every single day from everlasting to everlasting, He loves you. Do you recognize that?

Oh, darling. I pray that you do! You must know! You must experience it everyday! It’s just too costly to miss that! I hope I’m just exaggerating, but I’m not. Even these are understatement. I cannot fully grasp it yet.

It is He who wakes you up with His morning songs of love and sings you a lullaby at night as you sleep.

It is He who roars inside of you when mountains try to hinder your dreams!

It is He who wraps you with His love when you need it the most and gives you shelter so that you can work with perfect peace inside your heart even when the world is in chaos!

I know you want Him, too, because your heart was made to perfectly fit for each other; and only in His love can you find home; there is no other.

And let me tell you that He’s the mightiest of all the warriors! He’s the strongest of all men! He has the most beautiful heart–so constant, so pure, so loyal, so kind, so compassionate, so wonderful–and inside it is you! Many waters cannot quench His love. Oh, none can rival Him! Not one!

So don’t feel embarrassed when you’re longing for eternity, dear ones, because that is how exactly He made you. Don’t look for any other love to fill in and complete you because compared to His, those are just…droplets. It can only add but it can never complete you.

You were made for a love so great. You were made for God!

And if you ever wonder how you could love Him back, just lay at His feet with wholehearted abandon and receive His love.

Start there and stay there until you dream of changing the world and ’til you are actually changing the world through Him and with Him!

You’re worth it.

 

Original blog can be found here: http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2015/03/19/youre-worth-it-an-open-letter-to-the-women-with-deep-heart-cries/

~Happy New Beginnings~

My dear Lily,

Happy New Beginning my dear girl.

As you grow up you will find that New Years is about resolutions (and partying). A New year is always a good time to reflect on the year that was, to look back at what you were proud of and what you were not so proud of, hoping there were more moments of the former. This is also a good time to look at the people in your life. To really look back at the moments when you were down and depressed, and to see who were with you during those difficult times. Look back at the many memorable moments and remember the emotions you felt, the sounds and the smell. This will show what the important, happy and sad moments feel, so you are always familiar with those emotions.

Besides reflecting on what was, this is also a wonderful opportunity to look to the future. Think of what you would like to achieve in the year. Even look at past goals and see which ones are relevant and which ones you can finally cross off that endless list. There are so many goals and dreams we want to desperately become a reality. Some may take time and some may just be around the corner, waiting for you to open the door of opportunity. Don’t despair my little girl, with hard work, having faith in yourself and also asking for help once in a while, your dreams will become a reality. One day you will look back and be proud of all the things you have achieved. You will look back and say to yourself, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I did that’ and or ‘I wish i did that’, I hope it is more of the former.

I hope that you will experience that moment when you realise to yourself that you are right where you are supposed to be. After the past reflections and future gazing, you will one day stand proud, give a sigh of relief and say to yourself, with conviction, ‘I am right where I am supposed to be AND i LOVE it’. This is such an exhilarating feeling and quite a freeing moment. I wish that you will experience this many times in your life. Wendell Berry quote

After that exhilarating moment, your life purpose will become clearer, and you will stop caring about the people who no longer matter, and concentrate on those that do. Concentrate on activities you love to do and concentrate in constantly improving yourself.

Take time to always reflect, not just in the new year, but don’t spend too much time looking in the past either. The future is for your dreams to become a reality, live for this, but don’t everforget to enjoy the present and many moments during the year, because this is where your dreams meet your reality.

With love, your number one fan,

Mum

‘If I should have a daughter’ Spoken word by Sarah Kay


Dear Lily,

A few years ago I was privileged enough to see this wonderful artist on stage. I was excited to meet her and stayed until 1 am on a work night just to shake her hand and say hello. I love this poem, because it demonstrates that you don’t need to be a mother to know the strong bond between mother and daughter. You can say this is where my light bulb moment came from for this blog. x Lulu

Happy New Year 2014

Happy 2014!

Hoping it has been so far so good for you all.

An experimental blog that has been an idea for the longest time. Hoping to have many funny and thought provoking letters to daughters soon.

Feel free to be a contributor.

All I ask is to be sincere and write from your heart. Ask yourself, what would you like your daughter to know about life, love, work, family, career, heartbreak, emotion, feminism. Write it in a letter.

‘A letter always seemed to me like immortality because it is the mind alone without corporeal friend’.  Emily Dickinson

‘I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world’.     Mother Theresa