~Right man…wait~

Dear Daughter,

I’m writing this letter about twenty years early (or forty if your father has his way), but one day you will read these words and they will connect. They will mean something to you. What I need to tell you can be summed up in one word:  WAIT.
Let me explain…

Yesterday I was resting in my favorite chair. It was about 5:00 pm, and I had been feeling under the weather all day. I sat and watched your daddy take stacks of folded clothes from the couch into our bedroom to put them away. Stacks that I folded two days ago and that I could have easily put away, but I hadn’t gotten around to it. He didn’t say anything; he just did it. He did it for me because he knew I needed help. And as I watched him, I had to fight back tears because I suddenly had this thought: “I hope Molly finds this some day.”  And I think you will, if you can remember to wait. Wait on the guy who finishes your chores for you – who comes through in little ways to let you know he cares.

Wait on the man who looks you in your eyes and holds your gaze as he tells you you’re beautiful. Wait on the man who has a habit of telling you this when your hair is greasy, you’re makeup-free, and you’re wearing yesterday’s sweatpants. You’ll know he means it.  Wait on the man who gets up and goes to work. Wait for the guy who sacrifices in order to provide for his family. Wait for the guy who has a strong work ethic and takes pride in what he does. Wait for that man who dreams big and invites you to dream with him.

And when your dreams seem too big, too scary to ever come true, I hope you wait for the one who listens to your insecurities but then speaks truth into your heart and breathes confidence into your spirit. This man will bring you to tears by reading Proverbs 31 to you, telling you YOU’RE that woman, and believing it with every fiber of his being.

Wait for the man who thinks for himself – the man who stands apart from the masses unapologetically because he is rooted and grounded in God. Wait for the man who doesn’t need anyone’s approval. The man who teaches you how to be brave and courageous. The man who will fight for you and for what he believes in. Wait for this man.
Wait for the man who looks at the stars with you and ponders the mysteries of the heavens. Wait for the one who writes you poems…not all the time, but just enough to remind you how deeply his love for you goes. Wait for the man who buys you jewelry and flowers, but no stuffed animals (because that’s just cheesy)!

Wait for the man who makes you feel strong, capable, and worthy. Wait for the man who would never disrespect you. The right one will honor you even when he’s out of your presence. You wait on this man, and your heart will never doubt him.

Wait on the man who allows God to break him down and mold him into the man he’s meant to be. Wait on the one who has a calling to serve his Heavenly Father. Wait on the man who isn’t perfect, but who keeps pressing on, getting back up, and learning from his mistakes.

And finally, wait on the man who smacks your booty when he walks by, who hugs you for a full 60 seconds when you need him to, and who gives you amazing massages, even though you’re quite possibly the world’s worst masseuse and will never be able to repay him!!

My darling daughter, one of these days you will be wondering if it’s love and if some boy is the right one. My prayer is that your daddy will set such a high standard in your eyes, that you will never be tempted to settle for anyone less than who you deserve. Don’t get in a hurry to find love. Don’t feel pressured to give yourself away. WAIT. Wait on the Lord, and He will send you a man who is everything to you that your father is to me. God will grow the love between you as the years pass. Your patience will be rewarded.

Wait…please wait!!

-BraveGirl Emily

(Original blog can be found here: http://bravegirlcommunity.com/2015/04/08/wait-for-this-man/)

~Precious…women~

TO THE PRECIOUS WOMEN:

Dear ones, did you know that you are loved?

You are loved and you are so worth it!

Did you know that your hearts are sooo big?

So big that your longings are eternal! Yes, your heart was made for Someone deeper than the oceans, higher than the stars above and bigger than a million galaxies combined! Because your hearts were made for the One who made them all!

Did you know that He’s crazy about you?

He created someone like you when He already has everything. He made you fearfully (carefully and meticulously) and wonderfully (with excellent chemistry, engineering and architecture) that even the hairs of your heads are numbered! He delicately and intimately designed your DNA and you are uniquely fashioned by His hands!

So don’t be surprised if your heart-cries are so deep. Women, you are so beautiful and you are so worth it!

Someone died a terrible death on the cross for you just to show you that He loves you! A million years will pass but His love never will. Every single day from everlasting to everlasting, He loves you. Do you recognize that?

Oh, darling. I pray that you do! You must know! You must experience it everyday! It’s just too costly to miss that! I hope I’m just exaggerating, but I’m not. Even these are understatement. I cannot fully grasp it yet.

It is He who wakes you up with His morning songs of love and sings you a lullaby at night as you sleep.

It is He who roars inside of you when mountains try to hinder your dreams!

It is He who wraps you with His love when you need it the most and gives you shelter so that you can work with perfect peace inside your heart even when the world is in chaos!

I know you want Him, too, because your heart was made to perfectly fit for each other; and only in His love can you find home; there is no other.

And let me tell you that He’s the mightiest of all the warriors! He’s the strongest of all men! He has the most beautiful heart–so constant, so pure, so loyal, so kind, so compassionate, so wonderful–and inside it is you! Many waters cannot quench His love. Oh, none can rival Him! Not one!

So don’t feel embarrassed when you’re longing for eternity, dear ones, because that is how exactly He made you. Don’t look for any other love to fill in and complete you because compared to His, those are just…droplets. It can only add but it can never complete you.

You were made for a love so great. You were made for God!

And if you ever wonder how you could love Him back, just lay at His feet with wholehearted abandon and receive His love.

Start there and stay there until you dream of changing the world and ’til you are actually changing the world through Him and with Him!

You’re worth it.

 

Original blog can be found here: http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2015/03/19/youre-worth-it-an-open-letter-to-the-women-with-deep-heart-cries/

~How…happiness~

Dear Daughter, When you were little, happiness for you was relatively simple. I found what it was that brought out your first enchanting smile and that first beautiful giggle. I would then continue to pull ridiculous faces if it meant that you’d continue to grace me with your captivating, gummy smile. Your happiness, at this stage of your life, was relatively simple for me to figure out. Early on, my main wish for you was that you’d forever be able to enjoy the simple pleasures and delights in life and that you’d be always happy. Yet as adults, we struggle to find the ever-elusive happiness ourselves, so really, it’s very optimistic that I would expect this of you too. The thing is though sweet girl, I want to at least do the very best I can to steer you in the direction of it. I know that happiness is often perceived to be accompanied by money. I mean, once you’ve got large amounts of money, you can pretty much buy anything right? Houses, cars, champagne, you name it, you can have it all. Here’s the thing though honey, the problem with money is that it can’t buy genuine friends and it certainly can’t purchase unconditional love. Money is helpful but it does not guarantee you fulfillment. So if I leave you with nothing else in this chaotic world, I want to leave you with this. My advice on how to find happiness.

how to be happy Tip One – Find a friend who is your best.

Find at least one friend who loves you for what and who you are, not for what you have or what you can give them. If you are extremely lucky, you will find this person early on in life. If not, you will know them when you meet them. It will feel like you are in love, but without the awkward first pash.

Tip Two – Don’t settle for second best.

Find someone to partner you in life who adores you and who you adore equally. This will happen when it happens. Don’t rush it, don’t push it and please don’t expect it. An open heart will allow the right person in when the time is right.

Tip Three – Work at what you love.

Find out what it is that interests you. Is it animals? People? Writing? Building Stuff? Knocking stuff down? Cooking? Cleaning, Drawing? Whatever it is, work towards getting yourself into that area as your job. I know it’s a total cliché, but if you are working at what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Tip Four – Be Kind. Be Patient. Be Compassionate.

Treat others as you would like to be treated and if people are horrible, remember it’s on them, not you. You can only do what you can do. Some people will be jealous, horrible, egotistical, vain or just plain mean, but this does not give you licence to return that kind of behaviour. Always be curious but not judgemental.

how to be happy Tip 5 – Love the skin you are in.

I know this sounds like a commercial, but oh man, it’s true. Having a firmer backside or a flatter stomach doesn’t make you a happier or better person. And believe me, the people who like you simply because of these traits are not people worth knowing. By all means, stay fit and healthy but please honey, NEVER value yourself based on the size of your jeans. Your beauty will always come from within.

Tip Six – Give in. Surrender.

I’m sorry, but actually, there is no magic bullet when it comes to happiness. Happiness is what makes you happy. Not the guy across the road, clipping his grass beyond an inch of its life or the ex-boyfriend traversing the world in search of the world’s best coffee because that’s THEIR happiness. You however, will need to find your own, and as long as it’s not illegal or dangerous, embrace it and also, more importantly, understand that when it comes, you are very lucky to have found it. Good luck little one, life is just beginning for you.

Original blog can be found here: http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/how-to-be-happy/

~The road…to travel~

Dear Lily,

There will be a time in your life where you will get the bug – the travel bug. This bug may last a year, two years or just several months. However long it will be, grab onto it and grab onto it with both hands. The earlier in your life you experience this travel bug, the better. My hope is that when you finish university, or maybe while you are fresh from finishing high school, you will get the chance to travel.

Just do it, pack your bags (just the necessities, no need to pack that tablet or extra phone), get your passport organized, and book that ticket, BOOK that ticket (or tickets).

You’re probably asking why mum is pushing the travel agenda.

It’s simple really; you find yourself when you travel. You spend many years of your life possibly looking at yourself through the eyes of others, and not see what they see; your magnificence. When you travel, especially on your own, you are not bound by your family’s idea of who you are. You don’t have to act a certain way with friends, or pretend to be someone else.

When you travel, you see yourself without limits. You find out what you love about yourself and what you need to improve on. You get to know the real you, because you are finally spending time with YOU. Embrace this person that you are getting to know, and love everything about her, even the craziness.

There will be moments when you travel where it is just you and your thoughts, listen to it, this is where you might find your passion, if you haven’t already found it. Your eyes will open to the endless possibilities of this world, hold on to this.

Explore the places you visit, talk with the locals, eat their food and dance to their tune. You will see how the other side lives, you will learn empathy. From this exploration you will be grateful with what you have at home, as you see a different part of the world that may be full of sorrow, sadness and poverty. An appreciation of the world will open the possibilities of you trying to change it and make it better, not just for your and for the people you care about, but for people you may never meet.

My hope is that when you travel, you will come home with a deeper appreciation of yourself, a deeper understanding of the world and how to put these two discoveries together and contribute something beautiful to the world.

Enjoy these moments of travel and take many photos, be in the present when you travel. Don’t look back into the past, which may be full of regret. Don’t plan too far into the future yet, you will have this chance when you get home, which will be the time to unravel what you have observed and what you have discovered from your travels.

I believe in you and I hope when you travel and see the world; that YOU start to believe in YOU  too. I hope you will take those moments and realise how wonderful your life and your world is, despite the poverty and hopelessness you may encounter.

Life is truly beautiful my darling, and I want you to experience as much of it as you can.

What are you waiting for, let’s go to Hawaii!

All my love,
Mum

~the ONE…got away~

“One day, years from now I will be sitting with my daughter and she will ask me about the one that got away and I am sure you are the man I will tell her about.

The man with expressive eyes and devilish smile…

I will tell her about how you looked at me as if I was the only girl in the room and how you held my hand so protectively when we walked on the main road while it was pouring.

How you watched me eat and not finish food I bought on the streets…

How you hugged me when we slept and pulled my head up from your chest in the middle of the night to kiss me.

I will tell her about our morning conversations and how you made my day.

She will ask where you are and why we didn’t end up together.

I will tell her that the timing wasn’t right and that you had to choose. I will let her know that you didn’t choose me; not because you never loved me, but because you followed your heart and the heart doesn’t always have to go with what it wants…that sometimes it has to go with what it deserves.

I will tell her that you chose the woman in your arms right now because she understands and knows you better than I do.

And I will tell her you made the right choice because I would just have ruined everything not because I didn’t love you but because I was naive and selfish for I loved you too much.

I will tell her that I love his father but in my next life, I will look for you and never let you go again.”

From the blog post http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2015/01/21/to-the-one-that-got-away/

My dear Lily,

One day you will experience your first heart break, and I will not sugar coat this for you and tell you it’s something you just shake off. Hell no, getting your heart broken HURTS, a lot, but you cannot ignore it or avoid it. Just accept it as part of life.

BUT, there are many ways to lessen the hurt, AND the best cure is…TIME. Yes, as cliche as this may sound, tick tock, tick tock does cure that hurt. And MAYBE a little bit of retail therapy, chocolate therapy, and group therapy (which involves all the above, but with friends). I will write more about curing this heart ache in a later letter. I want to concentrate on that poem above about the so called ‘the one that got away’.

There have been many a songs about this specific topic on love and even poems dating back centuries. I will be honest and I will write that I used to think I was the one that got away from a couple of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, before your mother met your father she dated a few guys, shock and horror. Your father is not the first man I loved, but he is most certainly the last. Romantic at heart, but will write about how we met in later blog posts. One thing for sure, it was, well, interesting.

Back to the topic. One day you may feel that you are the ONE that got away, but try not to dwell on this, because it is a little naive, selfish and well, darn right narcissistic. If you dwell on this too much, you will miss out on that special someone.

You may one day disagree with me on this, but I don’t believe in that concept the one that got away. Why? Simple, if he got away then he wasn’t the right one for me, he isn’t my ONE…the ONE. The perfect person for you is the person loving and adoring you right now, who loves you and cherishes you. Not some guy you dated a lifetime ago that seemed so perfect then, but didn’t work out because of a few factors. That is just it, it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be, so move on. They are not your ONE.

It also isn’t fair for your current partner for you to be still pining over an ex that may have not treated you right and caused you heart ache. My advice for you my beautiful lady is to that you must move on and let go of your past before you can move on with a future.

Completely say goodbye to your ex, get them out of your system, facebook, instagram, email, burning ritual (I will one day explain how soothing this is) COMPLETELY. Not just in tangible ways, but in your heart and your head. Only can you then start dating someone else. Remember this other advice, don’t jump into a new relationship thinking that your new squeeze will help you forget the other squeeze. BIG no no.

Don’t ever expect someone to heal the pain your past caused you so you can move into your future. It isn’t fair for that person and it is isn’t good for your soul either (unless that person helping you is a professional therapist, they may certainly help you OR may make things confusing).

You must heal this pain with your own resources and on your own terms. Then you won’t have that problem of ‘the one who got away’. You will be fine my child, TIME does heal most wounds. And yes, a little chocolate and your dad’s credit card may help too.

Never forget that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I am always here for you, to just listen to your venting.

Love you always,

Mum x