~One day…love~

One day you will look in the mirror and finally see what people see.

One day the mask you have been wearing will be peeled away.

One day you will see the glow in your eyes.

One day you will finally feel your heart song.

One day your soul will be at peace.

One day all the baggage will be unpacked.

One day your shoulders will feel lighter.

One day your head will finally be clear.

One day you will hear only your own voice.

One day you will finally see you.

One day you will finally love yourself.

After One day, love is home.


Dear Lily,

When I was a little girl I was an angel in my local Catholic Church. See, where I grew up, the little girls that attend church can become angels and be part of church activities, especially during Easter and Christmas. Believe it or not, your mother was once a very quiet and well behaved little girl.

I was an angel along with a few of my friends from the same street. This meant we dressed up all in white, and wore halos during special occasions. We would also perform at the nearby park during Easter. Performance included a little of dancing and singing, which your mother was well capable of doing. In her own head of course. We also paraded around the community to spread the good news, and also met with nuns and priests.

Looking back, which seems like a lifetime ago, at the time I never thought about what angels were really like. Then, it was all about being with friends and doing a something fun. Little did I know that what we did had some impact in the community. It brought the community together, and created an atmosphere of love and care. I have been pretty lucky growing up, I was always part of good communities. Or maybe I just chose to see the positives in them. Or maybe I just chose wisely. I’d like to think all of the above in some subconscious or conscious level.

I was an angel for a few years until I outgrew it, and when it was no longer fun. This made me think, are angels like this? Do they get bored and frustrated at the people they are attempting to help? Do they wear white? Do they even have halos? Do they smile?

Growing up I have heard many stories about angels, where they are, what they are made of, where they come from. One google click away and you can read about the different types or levels of angels. Everyone is aware of the famous fallen angel named Lucifer. One also know the famous archangel Gabriel. Many movies have been made about these two angels.

Personally, I believe angels are a lot more simpler than that. They are messengers from God (or a higher being, depending on your belief system), and I believe they are here to protect us and warn us. We may not always listen to their voices, but I believe they provide us with various signs towards our destiny. I don’t believe Angels cause us harm, but embrace us with their love and protection every day.

Sometimes, I feel like angels that watch over us are people that have passed on; people that we love and love us back, and always want the best for us. I think they are everywhere, and float around and meet other angels too.

It is a nice thought to think there are beings of sorts around us who protect us.

Sometimes, I think the angels of other people whisper to their love ones, then what seems like a miracle they meet us. You know that feeling, like we know this person from somewhere before. I think their angel somehow whispered to them to meet us or find us. Or maybe their angel met with our angel and colluded together to have us meet. It is a nice thought, that the reason we meet people in our lives, is because there are angels amongst us who have planned and schemed, all for the name of love and happiness.

My mum believes that when you see a white butterfly flying around you or in front of you, it’s a loved one who has passed on saying hello, letting us know they are watching over us. Showing us that they are thinking of us and hope that we are thinking of them.

White butterflies as a gentle reminder that we don’t forget them; the people who loved us deeply are never forgotten.

Angels and white butterflies remind us in the miracles that surround us on a daily basis. The wonderful, unseen, beautiful wind that envelopes us and makes us feel safe.

One day I will be a white butterfly on your shoulder,  an angel looking over you from above. With loving thoughts and an embrace full of promises of the future.


Mum x


~time on your own…refreshing~

Dear Lily,

During one week in my 30’s while I was away on my own for my birthday, I realised something. Spending time with yourself can bring many emotions and feelings you normally wouldn’t have, especially when you are surrounded by a big family and friends on a daily basis.

It was during one of these rare moments I realised that there is no need to feel guilty leaving love ones behind for a few days. I remember telling my family, I was driving four hours away on my own in my new car, and that I will message them when I have arrived. The very first time I did this, I was terrified but excited. Terrified, because I had never driven to the country alone for more than 2 hours. It was unchartered waters for me at the time, and I had never been to this place before.

Excited, because it was somewhere new and a place where I didn’t know anyone. Excited, because I was by myself and I could do what I wanted, when I wanted without someone knocking at my door on a regular basis.

It was during the first alone-long-drive that I realised that people need the time away from work, family, friends and other commitments to just rejuvenate. It’s always a refreshing time away when you stay in a place where you can observe nature and feel nature. But, if you are the type that has a buzz in the city, by all means stay in the hustle and bustle of the city, to rejuvenate.

I did many things on this trip, that I still do today on my own. I ate brunch at a nearby cafe, went shopping for food and drinks, walked around town, watched movies, cooked, read books, went in the spa and just sat on the balcony with my thoughts.

I had many thoughts while I was dining in my rented house, mostly what I wanted to do with my life for the next few years. I also reflected on the year that had passed; things that were sad and miserable, but also moments that were happy and peaceful. These moments, no matter how sad or happy, were always fondly remembered by key people who were there during those moments.

Gratitude was a message I took from my get away too. Grateful for the people in my life that have helped me grow into the person I am now. Some are no longer in my life and some still are.

Take these moments of rest, to reconnect with yourself and to de-stress from what life has thrown at you. Don’t feel guilty you are leaving love ones behind, they will understand that this is time that you need for yourself. Because, I guarantee that you will come out of this trip a better person with a better understanding of yourself. And when you better understand yourself, and learn to better love yourself, then those around you will be loved better for this self realisation and self discovery you have made, all in just a few short days.

Take time to dream, take time to plan, but also take time to rest.

Lovingly thinking of you always,

Mum x


~manicure…girl time~

Dear Lily,

I realised something today; spending time with your girlfriends is necessary to your soul.

There may come a time that you may like to spend time with the opposite sex. Why?  Because they may be more fun, less complicated and teach you all sorts of crazy lessons.

If you are like your mother, boys will become part of your life at an early age, and will be part of many great adventures all throughout it. You may know these male species through friendships or through lusting for them, and hopefully one day by falling in love with one of them. But, in whatever capacity, many adventures, positive or negative I have had have been with the men in my life.

And life presents you with so many different people, colourful as well as black and white people. Accept them all, they all have something to teach you, especially women.

For now, I want to tell you about friendship with the female kind. Yes, we are a complicated and moody bunch, but we are super spontaneous and fun. That is the reason why I love women so much, and why I love hearing stories from them.

Although, many of my crazy adventures have been with men, many of the stories and lessons I have learned in my life were from women. Lessons starting from my great grandmother, who taught me courage and strength. My grandmother who taught me empathy and love.

Mothers teach us and show us many things growing up, and those lesson don’t end when you leave the family home. My mother taught me the value of family and sacrifices. To this day, she is still teaching me how to not just be a better mother or daughter, but to also be a better human being, one who can contribute positively to the world.

Sisters know you like no other person in the world. They can be your worst enemy, or your best friend forever. My relationship with my sister (s) has always been up and down over the years, but the older we got the more we understood and respected each other. My sister didn’t so much as teach me, but showed me the type of woman I can become. She allowed me to be me, despite the craziness and weird things I say or do. It was my sister(s) who was always there for me when I needed a kick in the butt, but also a hug after a major heartbreak and disappointment.

Female friends come in all shapes and forms, I believe I have all types in my life. I have the beautiful and quiet souls, the shy and geeky type, the courageously outgoing kind and a plethora of more types and personalities. I love them all, I respect them all and I gain wisdom from them all.

Yes, there are the negative aspects to female friendships: the backstabbing, the silent assassins, the PMS, the competitiveness and the fights. I guess, that is what makes us such a colourful bunch, and such a spontaneous group of people. But, heck, the world wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lily, make friends with females, don’t act snobbish or all high and mighty around other females. Don’t demean them, and don’t let them walk all over you as well. I decided I needed female friends to help me grow into a woman I can look in the mirror, and not just love, but to also like.

Having female friends helped me love being me, and helped me love being a woman. Female friendships made me realise the power and sensitivity we have as women, and how  much positive influence we have on those around us.

‘I am a woman, watch me roar’.

Love you, you empowered lady you,

Mum x


Dear Lily,

Today was a beautiful day to have an adventure. Well, every day is a good day to have an adventure. EVERYDAY is an adventure.

Anyway, while I sit at a yogurt place at a nearby shopping centre, I can’t help but ponder about what words of wisdom I should impart to you when it comes to the purse strings.

As you have noticed, I can be a bit of a spender, Aaaand somewhat of a horder. Your grandmother would definitely attest to the latter.

I do like shopping online, at shopping centers, at markets, at Op Shops, and well darn it just about anywhere. I do try and strain my shopping urges. But nothing beats shopping therapy after a hard day at work. Or a hard session at a gym. Or after an argument with someone. Or because you just received the best news. Or you are just happy and deserve a treat.

I mean, the feeling of buying something so pretty or just plain beautiful, well it is exhilarating. Having paid for it, then unwrapping it at home and using the product right there and then. Well, it really is poetic.

Be it a new bag or new gadget, or just a small packet of chips that you have never tasted before, can make your soul just jump a beat.

Online shopping is an even better experience. Why? Because it always feels like Christmas. You unwrap the gift and act all surprised, although you know what it is, and then sheer excitement at what you bought. This is to see if it is EXACTLY what was bought.

I know sometimes this is just a fleeting moment or emotion. Depending on the purchase the feeling will only last a few seconds, or a few days. But sometimes, just sometimes the feeling lasts for a while, such as my very first car, which I love dearly and was at the time my longest relationship: 10 years.

Whatever it is, just remember that feeling. That feeling of surprise and joy, because I would want you to feel that everyday, not just when purchasing something, but to aim for this feeling in friendships and your other various relationships. I want you to be always be happy at the many surprises you have in your life; the many wonderful adventures you will have. Some you will foresee and some you won’t, just enjoy.

Welcome surprises and adventure everyday, they will always lead you to a better you.

Love you,
Mum x

PS. I forgot, Money advise – Don’t forget to save all the time. Enjoy your money, but not buy useless things that won’t last. Buy good quality products.

~I love…weekends~

Dear Lily,

I love weekends. It’s a chance to recuperate from the stresses of the week before, and to get motivated for the week ahead.

I love weekends. A great chance to spend time with family, especially the growing children. Watching them grow up is such a privilege. To see children develop and grow over time is so special and memorable.

I love weekends. I don’t see friends often, and the weekends are the best time to catch up with people who actually like being around you; and like to know what is happening in your life, genuinely.

I love weekends. Relaxing with a good movie or book is what weekends are made for. Going into a different world books and movies takes you, even for just a bit, is always exhilirating.

I love weekends. Especially when the weather is slightly cold, it’s a good time to hide under the doona and think of nothing and just be still. Listening to the rain drops against the window, creates a calming feeling in the soul.

I love weekends. Because this is the best time to be yourself and explore the world you live in. Explore cafes and parks around the area you live. Visiting cultural festivities and various events that open your mind to what is in the world outside yours.

I love weekends. I am glad that there are two days in a weekend, although sometimes this is not enough. Always enjoy your weekend and make it count. Relax on Sunday night, so Monday is calming and not hectic.

I love weekends. Don’t worry about Monday yet.

(work in progress)


Mum x


~women…at work~

Dearest Lily,

It has been a tough few months at work, and thank goodness it has eased a fair bit. The one thing that has yet to improve is the attitude of some people. I like where I work – most of the time, but what drains me is the attitude of one lady in particular.

I am a very patient person, but like most people I have my limits. You will encounter people like her in your life, and I hope that they are few and far between. They are women who are quite insecure in their own life, that they will make someone feel smaller by making themselves feel better. I don’t like women, or people like that all. I avoid them in my personal life, but since I need to work it isn’t something I can avoid.

I tolerate her actions and attitude, like many of my colleagues have said and done. It does make it difficult sometimes when one person has such a toxic attitude at work.

This has lead me to a possible solution that I hope will work for you. Befriend her, get to know her and once in a while acknowledge her work. Hopefully, this will make her feel less threatened by you. However, there are some people that may never change, and that honey is not your fault.

So, I will follow my own advice, and I have, but I think she is one of those people who will never change. She may have her own insecure issues she has yet to deal with.  That I cannot help her with.

If you come across negative people, especially women, ignore them and just let them be. If they hound you, you have a right to defend yourself, but please try and defend yourself as gracefully as you can. You are a lady and was raised to be tough, but not violent.

Be friends with as many women as possible, you need women in your life. The best lessons I have ever learnt were from women. Women teach you empathy, strength of character, vulnerability, stress, joy and miracles. There is a diversity of women out there, so be friends with as many as you can.

I don’t ever want you to be one of those ladies that hate on women on purpose, or at all. This isn’t good for your character or your soul. But remember, don’t be a doormat either.

Being a women is great, having women friends are even better. It makes for colourful conversations!

Love ya guts,

Mum x

~meditation…something new~

Dear Lily,

Today was a hot day and it was a really really lazy day. Hot days for me always leads to nothing. It’s just too hot to do anything. Hot days also leads to hot nights, which leads to  restless sleep.

Which leads to a possible solution.

It was such a good thing then that your uncle invited me to go to a meditation seminar. I initially said yes, but as the day got closer and because today was a hot, I hesitated. But I thought hey, it’s free and there was nothing else to do.

I am glad to have attended the seminar, it opened my eyes to a great possibility of becoming a better person.

The speaker, I believe was a tad boring, but the videos sold me.  Maybe I am just a sucker for marketing ploys.  But only good thing can come out of it.

So I decided to sign up for it. Since I will be on holidays in February, I decided to do the four day seminar. I will update on the progress.

So Lily, try as much things as you can, even if you don’t enjoy it at first, at least you learn from it. You will know what you like and what you don’t like.

Stillness is a good way to calm your soul and find out what it is you can and should be”

Try being still, because there are times you will need to.

Love you always,



~work…not on weekends?!~

Dear Lily,

Today I worked, yes on a Saturday, your hard working mum worked.  This lead me to think of the saying ‘if you love your job, you never have to work a day in your life’.  It took me years to figure out what that saying meant. To me it means that if you work in the field you are passionate about, it won’t feel like work. You will  actually enjoy going to work every day and be happy to do overtime if you must.

But how do you find the job you love? First you must find your passion. What are you passionate about? What are you into? What do you enjoy doing? What don’t you like to do? What are you not passionate about?

I believe the best way to find your passion is to be adventurous and try and learn about as many jobs or careers as possible.  Try working at a fast food place or volunteer at a animal shelter. Do as much as you can and take risks. Each of the jobs or volunteering opportunities you take will teach you a new skill or a new talent.

I suggest to also talk to people who work in the field. Find out what their day is like and what the advantages and disadvantages are to their job. Talking to people will greatly improve your social skills, this is always a skill that will serve you well in any endeavour you wish to pursue.

It may take a while to find the job you like, but be patient, you will find it. It’s a part of life, some things just take time, while some things don’t.

There will be days that you question if the work you do is worth it. But i hope that those days are a rare occurrence. We all have days like these, and they don’t last, I promise you that.

I just want you to be happy, not just be content with your life, but be immensely happy. And the only way to do that is to be adventurous and try out as much as you can. Read as many books and articles as you can. Learn from other people. You can always learn something from someone, no matter how short the conversation is, or what their circumstances are in life.

Don’t be envious if you know someone who has found their passion early on. Just be happy for them and continue on your own journey.

As they say ‘the world is your oyster’. I just hope you’re not allergic to oysters, like your mum.

Always thinking of you,

Mum x



~Guilt…broken heart~

Dear Lily,
One day you will experience getting your heart broken, don’t worry a letter has been written to you about this. Instead, today I write about the feeling of guilt when YOU are the person who breaks a heart.
Some relationships end quite badly and others end amicably, but hearts will still be broken. Today I write for the first time when I myself caused another beautiful soul heart ache.
He was a wonderful human being, who was always attentive to my needs, no matter how far apart we were. He had flowers and chocolates sent to me on a regular basis. There were morning texts and goodnight texts. He told me how beautiful I was regularly, and how happy he was that I was his girlfriend. He was proud of me and showed me off to his family and friends.  He was the perfect gentleman and what others would consider, the perfect boyfriend.
We never fought, he would always agree with me and would always do what I wanted to do. I know what you are asking, why did break up with him.  He seemed like the guy any girl would want.
For weeks before the impending break up I felt annoyed at him, I didn’t include him in my life anymore, I ignored his calls and didn’t message him as often as I used to. This was quite immature and something that won’t last, I knew that. But, I didn’t want to break his heart, because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.
But I finally did it; because he also knew that there was something wrong between us, due to the lack of communication and what had been happening in the last couple of months.
He called just after Christmas, and I knew that I had to finally break the news to him. I wanted to talk to him in person, but distance was an issue and telling him sooner rather than later was a better idea. In that conversation I finally told him that I was not happy in the relationship anymore; and was frank that I was not in love with him anymore, and I told him that the relationship was not moving forward. We both knew that we were not moving for the other. If we did love each other passionately, one would have moved by now, but neither did.
It was heartbreaking hearing his voice break and to finally hang up on the man I loved deeply, and still do. To hear his pleas and to read his messages after, made me feel guilty. Immense guilt.
But I knew deep in my gut that I wasn’t happy and that ending the relationship was the best thing for me, and also for him. Why was it good for him? Well he no longer had to chase his girlfriend anymore, he didn’t have to be ignored anymore, he didn’t feel annoyed anymore and he didn’t feel lost anymore. I knew I had to let him go so another person can make him happy, that person was clearly not me.
Lily, I felt guilt, immense guilt breaking this man’s heart. But in the end, I had to do what felt right for me. I had to listen to my heart and my gut, both telling me that ending the relationship was a positive thing for me. It may take time to completely realise this, but I know in time all will make sense. Bittersweet is the one word that comes to mind.
Lily, if you are not happy in the relationship, find out why, spend some time by yourself and listen to your heart and soul. Also, talk to your closest confidants and get their ideas. But, in the end it is your choice alone, no one can make it for you, and no one should.
If you are not happy in a relationship and if ending it is the right thing for you; it is natural to feel guilt and all sorts of emotions, listen to it and remember that time does heal wounds. Just don’t stay in that guilt or sad moment forever, it will pass and I promise that you will be happy again.
I just want you to be happy; and one day passionate love that grows and doesn’t diminish will find you. This type of love is worth the broken hearts that got you there; whether it was your doing or not.
Loving you always,
Mum x