~One day…love~

One day you will look in the mirror and finally see what people see.

One day the mask you have been wearing will be peeled away.

One day you will see the glow in your eyes.

One day you will finally feel your heart song.

One day your soul will be at peace.

One day all the baggage will be unpacked.

One day your shoulders will feel lighter.

One day your head will finally be clear.

One day you will hear only your own voice.

One day you will finally see you.

One day you will finally love yourself.

After One day, love is home.


Dear Lily,

When I was a little girl I was an angel in my local Catholic Church. See, where I grew up, the little girls that attend church can become angels and be part of church activities, especially during Easter and Christmas. Believe it or not, your mother was once a very quiet and well behaved little girl.

I was an angel along with a few of my friends from the same street. This meant we dressed up all in white, and wore halos during special occasions. We would also perform at the nearby park during Easter. Performance included a little of dancing and singing, which your mother was well capable of doing. In her own head of course. We also paraded around the community to spread the good news, and also met with nuns and priests.

Looking back, which seems like a lifetime ago, at the time I never thought about what angels were really like. Then, it was all about being with friends and doing a something fun. Little did I know that what we did had some impact in the community. It brought the community together, and created an atmosphere of love and care. I have been pretty lucky growing up, I was always part of good communities. Or maybe I just chose to see the positives in them. Or maybe I just chose wisely. I’d like to think all of the above in some subconscious or conscious level.

I was an angel for a few years until I outgrew it, and when it was no longer fun. This made me think, are angels like this? Do they get bored and frustrated at the people they are attempting to help? Do they wear white? Do they even have halos? Do they smile?

Growing up I have heard many stories about angels, where they are, what they are made of, where they come from. One google click away and you can read about the different types or levels of angels. Everyone is aware of the famous fallen angel named Lucifer. One also know the famous archangel Gabriel. Many movies have been made about these two angels.

Personally, I believe angels are a lot more simpler than that. They are messengers from God (or a higher being, depending on your belief system), and I believe they are here to protect us and warn us. We may not always listen to their voices, but I believe they provide us with various signs towards our destiny. I don’t believe Angels cause us harm, but embrace us with their love and protection every day.

Sometimes, I feel like angels that watch over us are people that have passed on; people that we love and love us back, and always want the best for us. I think they are everywhere, and float around and meet other angels too.

It is a nice thought to think there are beings of sorts around us who protect us.

Sometimes, I think the angels of other people whisper to their love ones, then what seems like a miracle they meet us. You know that feeling, like we know this person from somewhere before. I think their angel somehow whispered to them to meet us or find us. Or maybe their angel met with our angel and colluded together to have us meet. It is a nice thought, that the reason we meet people in our lives, is because there are angels amongst us who have planned and schemed, all for the name of love and happiness.

My mum believes that when you see a white butterfly flying around you or in front of you, it’s a loved one who has passed on saying hello, letting us know they are watching over us. Showing us that they are thinking of us and hope that we are thinking of them.

White butterflies as a gentle reminder that we don’t forget them; the people who loved us deeply are never forgotten.

Angels and white butterflies remind us in the miracles that surround us on a daily basis. The wonderful, unseen, beautiful wind that envelopes us and makes us feel safe.

One day I will be a white butterfly on your shoulder,  an angel looking over you from above. With loving thoughts and an embrace full of promises of the future.


Mum x


~time on your own…refreshing~

Dear Lily,

During one week in my 30’s while I was away on my own for my birthday, I realised something. Spending time with yourself can bring many emotions and feelings you normally wouldn’t have, especially when you are surrounded by a big family and friends on a daily basis.

It was during one of these rare moments I realised that there is no need to feel guilty leaving love ones behind for a few days. I remember telling my family, I was driving four hours away on my own in my new car, and that I will message them when I have arrived. The very first time I did this, I was terrified but excited. Terrified, because I had never driven to the country alone for more than 2 hours. It was unchartered waters for me at the time, and I had never been to this place before.

Excited, because it was somewhere new and a place where I didn’t know anyone. Excited, because I was by myself and I could do what I wanted, when I wanted without someone knocking at my door on a regular basis.

It was during the first alone-long-drive that I realised that people need the time away from work, family, friends and other commitments to just rejuvenate. It’s always a refreshing time away when you stay in a place where you can observe nature and feel nature. But, if you are the type that has a buzz in the city, by all means stay in the hustle and bustle of the city, to rejuvenate.

I did many things on this trip, that I still do today on my own. I ate brunch at a nearby cafe, went shopping for food and drinks, walked around town, watched movies, cooked, read books, went in the spa and just sat on the balcony with my thoughts.

I had many thoughts while I was dining in my rented house, mostly what I wanted to do with my life for the next few years. I also reflected on the year that had passed; things that were sad and miserable, but also moments that were happy and peaceful. These moments, no matter how sad or happy, were always fondly remembered by key people who were there during those moments.

Gratitude was a message I took from my get away too. Grateful for the people in my life that have helped me grow into the person I am now. Some are no longer in my life and some still are.

Take these moments of rest, to reconnect with yourself and to de-stress from what life has thrown at you. Don’t feel guilty you are leaving love ones behind, they will understand that this is time that you need for yourself. Because, I guarantee that you will come out of this trip a better person with a better understanding of yourself. And when you better understand yourself, and learn to better love yourself, then those around you will be loved better for this self realisation and self discovery you have made, all in just a few short days.

Take time to dream, take time to plan, but also take time to rest.

Lovingly thinking of you always,

Mum x