~I love…weekends~

Dear Lily,

I love weekends. It’s a chance to recuperate from the stresses of the week before, and to get motivated for the week ahead.

I love weekends. A great chance to spend time with family, especially the growing children. Watching them grow up is such a privilege. To see children develop and grow over time is so special and memorable.

I love weekends. I don’t see friends often, and the weekends are the best time to catch up with people who actually like being around you; and like to know what is happening in your life, genuinely.

I love weekends. Relaxing with a good movie or book is what weekends are made for. Going into a different world books and movies takes you, even for just a bit, is always exhilirating.

I love weekends. Especially when the weather is slightly cold, it’s a good time to hide under the doona and think of nothing and just be still. Listening to the rain drops against the window, creates a calming feeling in the soul.

I love weekends. Because this is the best time to be yourself and explore the world you live in. Explore cafes and parks around the area you live. Visiting cultural festivities and various events that open your mind to what is in the world outside yours.

I love weekends. I am glad that there are two days in a weekend, although sometimes this is not enough. Always enjoy your weekend and make it count. Relax on Sunday night, so Monday is calming and not hectic.

I love weekends. Don’t worry about Monday yet.

(work in progress)

Love,

Mum x

 

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~women…at work~

Dearest Lily,

It has been a tough few months at work, and thank goodness it has eased a fair bit. The one thing that has yet to improve is the attitude of some people. I like where I work – most of the time, but what drains me is the attitude of one lady in particular.

I am a very patient person, but like most people I have my limits. You will encounter people like her in your life, and I hope that they are few and far between. They are women who are quite insecure in their own life, that they will make someone feel smaller by making themselves feel better. I don’t like women, or people like that all. I avoid them in my personal life, but since I need to work it isn’t something I can avoid.

I tolerate her actions and attitude, like many of my colleagues have said and done. It does make it difficult sometimes when one person has such a toxic attitude at work.

This has lead me to a possible solution that I hope will work for you. Befriend her, get to know her and once in a while acknowledge her work. Hopefully, this will make her feel less threatened by you. However, there are some people that may never change, and that honey is not your fault.

So, I will follow my own advice, and I have, but I think she is one of those people who will never change. She may have her own insecure issues she has yet to deal with.  That I cannot help her with.

If you come across negative people, especially women, ignore them and just let them be. If they hound you, you have a right to defend yourself, but please try and defend yourself as gracefully as you can. You are a lady and was raised to be tough, but not violent.

Be friends with as many women as possible, you need women in your life. The best lessons I have ever learnt were from women. Women teach you empathy, strength of character, vulnerability, stress, joy and miracles. There is a diversity of women out there, so be friends with as many as you can.

I don’t ever want you to be one of those ladies that hate on women on purpose, or at all. This isn’t good for your character or your soul. But remember, don’t be a doormat either.

Being a women is great, having women friends are even better. It makes for colourful conversations!

Love ya guts,

Mum x

~meditation…something new~

Dear Lily,

Today was a hot day and it was a really really lazy day. Hot days for me always leads to nothing. It’s just too hot to do anything. Hot days also leads to hot nights, which leads to  restless sleep.

Which leads to a possible solution.

It was such a good thing then that your uncle invited me to go to a meditation seminar. I initially said yes, but as the day got closer and because today was a hot, I hesitated. But I thought hey, it’s free and there was nothing else to do.

I am glad to have attended the seminar, it opened my eyes to a great possibility of becoming a better person.

The speaker, I believe was a tad boring, but the videos sold me.  Maybe I am just a sucker for marketing ploys.  But only good thing can come out of it.

So I decided to sign up for it. Since I will be on holidays in February, I decided to do the four day seminar. I will update on the progress.

So Lily, try as much things as you can, even if you don’t enjoy it at first, at least you learn from it. You will know what you like and what you don’t like.

Stillness is a good way to calm your soul and find out what it is you can and should be”

Try being still, because there are times you will need to.

Love you always,

MUM x

 

~work…not on weekends?!~

Dear Lily,

Today I worked, yes on a Saturday, your hard working mum worked.  This lead me to think of the saying ‘if you love your job, you never have to work a day in your life’.  It took me years to figure out what that saying meant. To me it means that if you work in the field you are passionate about, it won’t feel like work. You will  actually enjoy going to work every day and be happy to do overtime if you must.

But how do you find the job you love? First you must find your passion. What are you passionate about? What are you into? What do you enjoy doing? What don’t you like to do? What are you not passionate about?

I believe the best way to find your passion is to be adventurous and try and learn about as many jobs or careers as possible.  Try working at a fast food place or volunteer at a animal shelter. Do as much as you can and take risks. Each of the jobs or volunteering opportunities you take will teach you a new skill or a new talent.

I suggest to also talk to people who work in the field. Find out what their day is like and what the advantages and disadvantages are to their job. Talking to people will greatly improve your social skills, this is always a skill that will serve you well in any endeavour you wish to pursue.

It may take a while to find the job you like, but be patient, you will find it. It’s a part of life, some things just take time, while some things don’t.

There will be days that you question if the work you do is worth it. But i hope that those days are a rare occurrence. We all have days like these, and they don’t last, I promise you that.

I just want you to be happy, not just be content with your life, but be immensely happy. And the only way to do that is to be adventurous and try out as much as you can. Read as many books and articles as you can. Learn from other people. You can always learn something from someone, no matter how short the conversation is, or what their circumstances are in life.

Don’t be envious if you know someone who has found their passion early on. Just be happy for them and continue on your own journey.

As they say ‘the world is your oyster’. I just hope you’re not allergic to oysters, like your mum.

Always thinking of you,

Mum x

 

 

~Guilt…broken heart~

Dear Lily,
One day you will experience getting your heart broken, don’t worry a letter has been written to you about this. Instead, today I write about the feeling of guilt when YOU are the person who breaks a heart.
Some relationships end quite badly and others end amicably, but hearts will still be broken. Today I write for the first time when I myself caused another beautiful soul heart ache.
He was a wonderful human being, who was always attentive to my needs, no matter how far apart we were. He had flowers and chocolates sent to me on a regular basis. There were morning texts and goodnight texts. He told me how beautiful I was regularly, and how happy he was that I was his girlfriend. He was proud of me and showed me off to his family and friends.  He was the perfect gentleman and what others would consider, the perfect boyfriend.
We never fought, he would always agree with me and would always do what I wanted to do. I know what you are asking, why did break up with him.  He seemed like the guy any girl would want.
For weeks before the impending break up I felt annoyed at him, I didn’t include him in my life anymore, I ignored his calls and didn’t message him as often as I used to. This was quite immature and something that won’t last, I knew that. But, I didn’t want to break his heart, because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.
But I finally did it; because he also knew that there was something wrong between us, due to the lack of communication and what had been happening in the last couple of months.
He called just after Christmas, and I knew that I had to finally break the news to him. I wanted to talk to him in person, but distance was an issue and telling him sooner rather than later was a better idea. In that conversation I finally told him that I was not happy in the relationship anymore; and was frank that I was not in love with him anymore, and I told him that the relationship was not moving forward. We both knew that we were not moving for the other. If we did love each other passionately, one would have moved by now, but neither did.
It was heartbreaking hearing his voice break and to finally hang up on the man I loved deeply, and still do. To hear his pleas and to read his messages after, made me feel guilty. Immense guilt.
But I knew deep in my gut that I wasn’t happy and that ending the relationship was the best thing for me, and also for him. Why was it good for him? Well he no longer had to chase his girlfriend anymore, he didn’t have to be ignored anymore, he didn’t feel annoyed anymore and he didn’t feel lost anymore. I knew I had to let him go so another person can make him happy, that person was clearly not me.
Lily, I felt guilt, immense guilt breaking this man’s heart. But in the end, I had to do what felt right for me. I had to listen to my heart and my gut, both telling me that ending the relationship was a positive thing for me. It may take time to completely realise this, but I know in time all will make sense. Bittersweet is the one word that comes to mind.
Lily, if you are not happy in the relationship, find out why, spend some time by yourself and listen to your heart and soul. Also, talk to your closest confidants and get their ideas. But, in the end it is your choice alone, no one can make it for you, and no one should.
If you are not happy in a relationship and if ending it is the right thing for you; it is natural to feel guilt and all sorts of emotions, listen to it and remember that time does heal wounds. Just don’t stay in that guilt or sad moment forever, it will pass and I promise that you will be happy again.
I just want you to be happy; and one day passionate love that grows and doesn’t diminish will find you. This type of love is worth the broken hearts that got you there; whether it was your doing or not.
Loving you always,
Mum x